Harm Reduction Tips
No one can prevent sexual assault except the person who commits the crime.
The following are steps you can take to reduce the risk of being sexually assaulted.
Communication is vital: you have the right to set boundaries but you must clearly communicate your limits. Engaging in any sexual activity must be a mutual decision. Decide ahead of time what you are okay with and what you are not. Then express yourself and mean what you say.
Assertiveness is empowerment: state clearly and firmly what you really want and what you are truly feeling. If you establish boundaries and they are crossed, act quickly and do what you need to in order to remove yourself from the situation unharmed. It is your body so take control of it.
BUDDY-SYSTEM: instead of going out by yourself, bring a friend with you. If possible designate one person who will not be under the influence of any substances.
Keeping yourself safe at a party
- Be careful about walking away with strangers. When you are talking with new people, get to know them and decide whether or not you can trust them.
- Try to avoid being alone with someone who has been drinking or taking drugs. Someone that you know well could act very differently under the influence, and be a threat to you.
- Consider limiting your intake of alcohol or drugs. Taking drugs or drinking alcohol may make you more vulnerable to sexual assault. Your ability to keep yourself safe might be impaired. Know that even if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol and you experience sexual assault, it is not your fault.
- Consider telling your parents and friends where you are going. They may need to contact you or, more importantly, you may need to contact them if you find yourself in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation.
- Make a plan for safety with your friends. Talk about what you would do in different situations so you are prepared. Go out together, create a "buddy system" where you look out for each other and make sure that you leave together.
- Trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable or afraid, it is ok to leave a situation. Do not worry about being polite or hurting someone's feelings. And if you have a cell phone, use it!
Keeping yourself safe from date rape drugs
Date rape drugs often have no color, smell, or taste and are easily added to drinks without the victim's knowledge. They usually cause a person to become physically helpless-they can hardly move and are not able to protect themselves from being hurt. Here are some tips to help you protect yourself:
- Don't accept drinks from people you do not know or individuals that you have just met. Only accept drinks from someone you know well and can trust (like your good friend).
- If possible, get drinks that are unopened and open them yourself.
- Watch your drink and keep it with you at all times, even when you go to the bathroom. If you didn't watch it the whole time, get rid of it.
- Don't share drinks with anyone.
- Don't drink from punch bowls or other large, common, open containers.
- Consider going to a party, club, or concert with someone you trust, such as a friend or an older sibling. Have a non-drinking friend stay with you to "watch your back", or watch out for you if you go somewhere with someone.
- Keeping yourself safe in dating relationships
- Know your sexual limits and state them clearly. Try to decide before you go out with someone whether or not you want to have sex with them. While it can be awkward, it is important to use assertive words to convey what you want or what you don't want.
- Look for warning signs of dating violence. Violence in dating relationships commonly includes sexual assault as well as verbal, emotional and physical abuse. These are some early warning signs that the person you are dating might become abusive: extreme jealousy, controlling behavior, quick involvement, mood swings, explosive anger, isolating you from friends and family, using force during an argument, getting upset about little things, blaming others for problems or feelings, verbal abuse, threatening you with violence, or if you feel afraid to ask questions or say no.
- Learn to say "no" in a definite way, and respect it when you hear it. Say it clearly when you need to, and understand that "no" means "no" - it is not an invitation to try to persuade someone to have sex. It can also be helpful to learn to say "yes" as clearly as you say "no"--this can help you communicate your wishes so the other person understands. Silence does not equal yes.
- Think about avoiding secluded places with someone until you know him/her well and s/he has earned your trust.
- Be aware of your surroundings. Sexual assault most often occurs in the victim's home or the home of a relative or friend. Meet your date in public places and have your own means of transportation. Identify neighborhood stores, places to run into if needed.
- Try not to spend time alone with someone who makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable. Follow your instincts and remove yourself from situations you don't feel good about.
Remember that nothing you do is a guarantee against sexual assault. If you are assaulted, remember that you are not alone and it is not your fault. You can contact your nearest rape crisis center by calling the Rape and Incest National Network at 800-656-HOPE (800-656-4673).
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