How can I help someone who has been sexually assaulted?
When a person has been sexually assaulted, your role is to listen, be supportive, to not be judgmental and to provide information if needed. The following list will help you respond most appropriately if someone you know discloses that they have been sexually assaulted. RESPECT
(R)esponsibility
Communicate to the survivor that the assault was not their fault even if the survivor feels they engaged in behavior that may have been risky or foolish. There is a difference between accountability and responsibility.
(E)mpathy
Believe the survivor. Try to understand what the person has experienced. Think about as time when you felt vulnerable or faced a crisis, and think of what helped you the most. Chances are that it was not a specific conversation that you had, but it was the knowledge and comfort your friends were there for you, believed in you, were on your side and were committed to seeing you through a hard time. These are the things that will help your friend through the healing process.
(S)upport
The survivor needs someone to turn to for physical and emotional support and for validation of their experience. If a survivor confides in you this means there is already an element of trust that exists. If they feel supported by you, they may be more likely to seek further assistance. This is crucial for the survivor to begin the recovery process.
(P)ower
Survivors of sexual assault feel out of control and powerless. They do not trust their ability to make sound decisions. It is vital for survivors to regain their sense of personal power and belief in their own decision-making. Pushing the survivor into taking actions for which they are not ready may re-victimize them and strip them of their sense of personal power and control. You can best help the survivor by providing options and allowing them to decide. Regardless if you agree with their decision, support their choice.
(E)nsure Safety
Survivors often feel unsafe after the assault, both in the immediate aftermath and for any given amount of time after the fact. Encourage them to take appropriate safety measures. This can include changing door and window locks, staying with a friend or have a friend stay with them, and considering transferring jobs/schools or even moving.
(C)omfort
The survivor may experience fear, shock, or any range of emotions and nee immediate comfort from someone they trust. Simply ask the survivor what they need. Don't assume you know what the survivor wants such as physical comfort (like a hug or holding their hand) because that may trigger the assault.
(T)reatment
Encourage the survivor to seek medical attention. Encourage the survivor to seek psychological treatment. Encourage the survivor to contact local law enforcement authorities to report the assault. An advocate can provide the information the survivor will need to make this decision. Be patient. Remember, it will take time to not only deal but to heal. Provide information regarding professional assistance that is available and allow the survivor to choose what to do with it. Encourage her/him to contact RAINN. Realize that only person who can decide to reach out for help is the survivor.
