The following are steps you can take to reduce the risk of being sexually assaulted.
Communication is vital: you have the right to set boundaries but you must clearly communicate your limits. Engaging in any sexual activity must be a mutual decision. Decide ahead of time what you are okay with and what you are not. Then express yourself and mean what you say.
Assertiveness is empowerment: state clearly and firmly what you really want and what you are truly feeling. If you establish boundaries and they are crossed, act quickly and do what you need to in order to remove yourself from the situation unharmed. It is your body so take control of it.
BUDDY-SYSTEM: instead of going out by yourself, bring a friend with you. If possible designate one person who will not be under the influence of any substances.
Avoiding Dangerous Situations
While you can never completely protect yourself from sexual assault, there are some things you can do to help reduce your risk of being assaulted.
- Be aware of your surroundings. Knowing where you are and who is around you may help you to find a way to get out of a bad situation.
- Try to avoid isolated areas. It is more difficult to get help if no one is around.
- Walk with purpose. Even if you don't know where you are going, act like you do.
- Trust your instincts. If a situation or location feels unsafe or uncomfortable, it probably isn't the best place to be.
- Try not to load yourself down with packages or bags, because this can make you appear more vulnerable.
- Make sure your cell phone is with you and charged and that you have cab money.
- Try not to allow yourself to be isolated with someone you don't trust or don't know. Also, try to avoid being alone with someone who has been drinking or taking drugs. Someone that you know well could act very differently under the influence, and be a threat to you.
- Avoid putting music headphones in both ears so that you can be more aware of your surroundings, especially if you are walking alone.
If Someone Is Pressuring You
If someone is pressuring you to engage in sexual activity, it is important to remember that being in this situation is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, it is the person who is making you uncomfortable who is to blame. But if you need to get out of an uncomfortable or scary situation here are some things that you can try:
- Trust your instincts. Don't feel obligated to do anything you don't want to. If you feel uncomfortable or afraid, it is ok to leave a situation. Do not worry about being polite or hurting someone's feelings. "I don't want to" is always a good enough reason.
- Be true to yourself. Do what feels right to you and what you are comfortable with.
- Have a code word with your friends or family so that if you don't feel comfortable, you communicate your discomfort to them without the person knowing. Your friends or family can then get you or make up an excuse for you to leave.
- Learn to say "no" in a definite way, and respect it when you hear it. Say it clearly when you need to, and understand that "no" means "no" - it is not an invitation to try to persuade someone to have sex. It can also be helpful to learn to say "yes" as clearly as you say "no"--this can help you communicate your wishes so the other person understands. Silence does not equal yes.
- Lie. If you don't want to hurt the person's feelings, it's better to lie and make up a reason to leave, than to stay and be uncomfortable, scared, or worse. Some excuses are: needing to take care of a friend or family member, not feeling well, having somewhere else to be, etc.
- Try to think of an escape route. How would you try to get out of the room? Where are the doors? Windows? Are there people around who might be able to help you? Is there an emergency phone nearby?
- If you and/or the other person have been drinking, you can say that you would rather wait until you both have your full judgment.
In a Social Situation
While you can never completely protect yourself from sexual assault, there are some things you can do to help reduce your risk of being assaulted in social situations.
- When you go to a party, go with a group of friends. Arrive together, check in with each other and leave together.
- Consider limiting your drug or alcohol intake. Taking drugs or drinking alcohol may make you more vulnerable to sexual assault. Your ability to keep yourself safe might be impaired.
- Practice safe drinking. Do not accept drinks from anyone you do not know. Never leave your drink unattended, if it leaves your sight, get rid of it. Don't take drinks from large punch bowls or community containers. All of these tips help to keep you safe from date rape drugs.
- Make a plan for safety with your friends. Have a buddy system. Don't be afraid to let a friend know if something is making you uncomfortable or if you are worried about your or your friend's safety.
- If someone you don't know or trust asks you to go somewhere alone, let him or her know that you would rather stay with the group.
- Be aware of your surroundings. Knowing where you are and who is around you may help you to find a way out of a bad situation.
Remember that nothing you do is a guarantee against sexual assault. If you are assaulted, remember that you are not alone and it is not your fault. You can contact your nearest rape crisis center by calling the Rape and Incest National Network at 800-656-HOPE (800-656-4673). You can also look at the other resources that are available on the resource page.
